Today, as I wake up early...about 3 am... I am reminded of the beauty of life and the pure pleasure of being me. It has took a long time to get here, a lot of 'soul searching' and a long process of awakening. So why am I writing this post, to let you know you are not alone, that the process of awakening is hard, long and the process of 'breaking' open is a painful one. But also that you can do it and the pain does go away as we find our 'ning'...our peace and tranquillity!
So why is it so hard...? Because you have to look into the darkest corners of your being, at all the shadow parts of ourselves that have disowned and rejected. We have to look into the reasons why you disowned and rejected them and accept that there actually was nothing 'wrong' with us in the first place we were just crying out to be unapologetically us!
It is a process of realising that YOU are ALL the bad things in the world that you see around you... but that YOU are also ALL the good things in the world that you see. It is a process of accepting everything that has happened in the world and will happen but knowing that you ARE the change, that YOU are how humanity evolves, that YOU are forging a new way to be by allowing you light to shine and to live unapologetically for YOUR values and the life YOU want to lead....and that only comes from your heart when you are willing to FEEL all of the fears that have led you to be anything other than your true self.
When you look at the family ties that bind you, the societal norms that bind you, the opinions of others that have led you to judge yourself, the judgement you have laid on yourself and what you 'should' be like! All of these things lead you to believe you are less than you are, less than you know you can be and less than your heart knows it is.
After all is said and done, we will be loved without question by source/god/benevolence..whatever you want to call the great being that we are all part of in our hearts. The thing that we have to do to awaken is love our own heart, and our own journey, even when we feel unlovable, rejected and abandoned. Even when we are scared of the reaction of others to the things we do....in essence that is our self rejecting us...as everything is a reflection until we see past the illusion and AWAKEN! After we have seen all the shadows and all the judgement, all of the ways that we have learnt to push out our own heart and that of others and live in a way that is totally, unapologetically us... that is where we find our 'ning'.... and that is the hardest thing of all!
Namaste :)